A week in Florida

Got back late last night from Florida. It was good to get away. It was tiring, frustrating, fun, expensive, freeing and crazy.

Our flight was delayed so we didn't arrive until 7:00 in the morning so we slept most of the day Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were at Universal and boy was I worn out. So Friday we went to Epcot and got me a wheel chair. I felt so stupid at first. I mean it's not like I can't walk!
I got over the people looking at me thing pretty fast and after the day was done, as  much as I hated to admit, it definitely helped me be able to last throughout the day. So we did the wheelchair on Monday and Tuesday as well. Sunday was a nice break to just sit and watch conference. Can't wait to read Saturday's talks.

So I've been on Tamoxifen, which is a hormone blocker and ibrance which is a chemo pill. I seem to be handling the chemo pill quite well but I'm only on my first round so fingers crossed. I will take it for 3 weeks with 1 week off to let my white blood cells recoup. Then I go again.
The Tamoxifen is making me tired and my body aches. I feel like an old woman.  Before we left for the trip, my shoulder started hurting where a tumor is and it radiates down my arm. Some days are worse than others and some moments in the day are worse than others. Obviously, using it aggravates it, so I try to limit using my left arm. Some ways I move it, I get a sharp pain but most of the time its a constant strong ache. One day on our trip it was so bad I had to call the doctor. Luckily, Kevin brought his leftover drugs from neck surgery and they told me to take half of one of those. It took the edge off and I was able to go and play.

It was hard to come back without my sister, Dianne. Having her here those 2 weeks was so helpful emotionally as well as physically for me. After I got the news, even though I didn't feel differently physically, I was so shocked and upset and overwhelmed that getting kids off to school and doing everything was too much for me.  I can't thank her enough.

Now it's back to reality and I'm not so sure I'm ready to face it.  I go see my oncologist tomorrow where I will be able to ask my questions and get my weekly blood draw.

I am learning some things about "Mets" as it's called. (Metastasized cancer)  I guess it's misunderstood a lot and people think that if you get it, it's because you weren't taking care of yourself.
People don't understand why you're not on the hard chemo, like you're giving up. They don't understand that it will NEVER be gone. Breast cancer is cured, Metastatic Breast Cancer is not.

I also have so many people sending me recipes or diets etc. and although I appreciate it, I talked with Dr. Esplin about what the best thing is. He said that all of those "treatments" have lots of testimonials, but no data to back them up.  It may help Joe Shmo but not Sally Soup.  He said the best thing is to try to eat healthy as best as you can and when you need a burger and shake to just go for it.
To be honest, I was kind of relieved to hear it. My mind is more overwhelmed than it has ever been before and I don't know that I have enough brain power to go on some complete vegan diet or smoothie diet or Kale diet or even Keto.  But at the same time, I stress about not doing absolutely EVERYTHING I can to kick Cancer in the butt. He helped me realized that I just need to keep my mind positive, eat as healthy as I can and that is all I can do.

Maybe I'll do the Kale and Vinegar diet when I'm at my last resort.  Blech