Chemo

So it's been awhile and a lot has changed. My tumor markers did come down and I was really happy about that.  But, a week ago yesterday I had an MRI done on my breast.  I had to wait 2 hours!  Then I waited over the weekend and still no results. I had called several times and the imaging just wouldn't send the report.  Finally, Tuesday I got to talk with Dr. Esplin.
My breast looks worse than it did way back in February. He feels like we just haven't got the response we need, so I start Taxol on Friday. Taxol is an infusion chemo that I will do every Friday for at least 3 months. My hair will fall out and a lot of people have trouble with neuropathy.
I feel kind of numb. I guess I don't feel quite as scared as I did back at the beginning of all of this. Just because I've had a lot of tests and needles and scans and infusions.  I'll be honest though,  I'm scared about losing my hair.  I'm not a scarf person or a hat person or a wig person.  They have these halo wigs that are hats with some synthetic hair that peeks out.  That's probably what I'll do. I don't know.
I'm discouraged because I was hoping I would be a lucky one that didn't ever have to do the IV chemo.
From people I've talked with though, Taxol is usually tolerated pretty well. Not as bad as some others.
As always, some people get sick, some don't. All are fatigued. Some even just have thinning hair and not a complete loss. So we'll just have to see.
The girls are a bit worried, because it's easy to forget I'm sick when I don't look like it. It's causing a lot of anxiety for Maili and I worry about all of them.
I try so hard to shield them for all of this. It would probably be healthy for them to be in on some of it, I just want them to have as normal of a mom as possible while they have me.

November appointment

So I had my Dr.'s appt. on Monday. Got my 3 month Zometa infusion(for my bones) my monthly Faslodex shots (OUCH) That's the one that  fights cancer as an "estrogen receptor downregulator."
Dr. E is concerned about the look of my breast, so he ordered an MRI for next week. It is looking like it did more at the beginning of all this. 
After the MRI, if it shows issues, but the rest of me is looking okay, then they'll radiate my breast.  That scares me. I hear all sorts of yuck about radiation. Burns in the skin and nausea, and all kinds of stuff.