I went to girl's camp last week. Because of Cancer, I went up and down everyday. I knew I would be good for nothing if I stayed and tried to sleep up there. It was good to be there with both Maili and Haeli.
By the last night, My body had had enough and I felt pretty sick around dinner time. I threw up and went and laid down. I guess it made the other ladies cry. It still shocks me how little I can do before I've done too much. It angers me, it saddens me. It's a reminder that my life will never be the same. I wonder how long it takes to be used to the new normal?
I just want to keep living the same way and actually do more than I was doing before, not less. I don't like being the "sick"one, the different one, the "cancer" one.
I'm trying to prepare myself for my scan and be prepared if something is going to change. I hate being taken off guard.
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