My last appointment with Esplin was two weeks ago.  He told me that he'd like me to continue with Taxol for as long as it's working.
It's good but not so good either.

It's good because my tumor markers are going down, which means that the cancer in my body is responding to the Taxol....it's not as active and/or is shrinking. Except for my breast and the few lymph nodes,  retroperitoneal lymph nodes.  So for now, I stay on it.  He told me that he wants my tumor markers in the 20's.  Currently they're both near around 300.

I will get more scans on the 21st, to see what's going on again.

I'm getting really worn down emotionally and physically. I'm tired of feeling sick, of being the patient.  Of laying around. I'm trying to get to the point of just doing everything while I feel sick. I am learning how.  It's so hard to get myself up and care about things when I feel so yucky, but it's what I am going to have to do.  I may have to be on this for a long time and I need to learn how to be sick and push forward.

My hair is still thinning. I have to wear a hat in public. There's still a good amount, but I can't do anything with it. I'm trying to decide if I should shave the rest, but I just can't make myself do it.

Things are okay and I'm doing alright.  I'm praying that my tumor markers are going way down.