yes I googled it, Vainness is a word.
I think at some or many points in our lives we all feel insecure about our looks. As we grow older, I think most of us realize that our self-worth isn't based on how we look, but more about who we are.
However, I think we still care about our looks. That's why we buy cute clothes, get our hair done, wear makeup, etc.
Cancer has taken that all away from me.
I've struggled with my looks lately. My hair is nearly gone. My eyes look sick, my skin looks sick. and I'm gaining weight.
Weight has been an issue my whole life. Everytime I seem to get a hold of it, some major life situation comes up that derails my efforts.
I'm on a steroid before my chemo that makes you gain weight. I'm now in medical menopause which makes you gain weight. I'm on another anti-estrogen pill that makes you gain weight.
In the middle of feeling so crappy physically, I'm feeling insecure.
When I first got diagnosed with Cancer, I had a brief thought that I'd lose weight and that would be my silver lining. After all, in all the movies, cancer patients are always skinny and gaunt.
Turns out, most women in my "groups" have gained weight.
It's just not in my cards. Sigh
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